Going Away

First off, I think Chapter Four is finished. The more I write of this thing, the more I hate it, until I get a really good idea for something and then I like it again. I don't think I have the temperament to really handle being a writer though. I need to develop a skin.

Also, I went to dinner and a movie with Emily, Anna and Molly. We saw Bend It Like Beckham. ( My Thoughts. SPOILERS!! )

Thirdly, my dad stopped over during his lunch break. This is a very common occurrence by itself, but today he read me a poem. Apparently, he found it, and it spoke to him and he adapted it to fit his own situation.

It was all about how he dreaded September coming because Meg and I were leaving and he had to let us go and even when we came back we'd be different and it would never be the same. I hugged him and had to tuck my face into his shirt until I got my tears under control. Even now as I'm writing this I'm tearing up. I'm really going to miss my dad. I really am. He's one of the few people on the planet who I can talk to about anything and he makes me laugh all the time and I can tease him about being old and I don't know...I just love him. And I don't say that seriously about many people.

Anyway, the whole thing made me think of everything else I'm going to miss when I go away, and none of it is exactly what I thought would.

Christ. Now I'm depressed. I wonder what that emoticon looks like.

Two Friends

I have been thinking, lately, about my friends. Or rather, two particular ones. These two people are probably (besides Meg) my two closest.

They are Petra and Anna. And they are completely the opposite of each other.

Petra is my bad influence. For better or worse, she makes me do things I wouldn't all on my own. Petra is interesting. She is spontaneous. I love hearing about her life. Also, she is the only person I know with whom I can bitch. I mean really bitch. I mean make jokes about handicapped people and not feel awful. When something is bothering me, I can go to Petra and talk about it. I can share my horrible thoughts. I can be mean. And I don't have to worry that she'll think less of me. I feel completely comfortable saying just about anything around her. Also, she makes me laugh. Go Pei.

Anna always thinks the best of people. She is sheltered. She believes any problem can be solved if you complain about it to the right person. She never lets things go. She would no doubt be offended if she read this. I love Anna because Anna makes things fun. Because she likes me best. Because I can banter with her like no other. I cannot be too mean around her, though. Disappointing Anna makes me feel infinitely horrible. She looks at the world differently from everyone else. And she makes me laugh. Go Anna.

I have, actually, very few common interests with either Petra or Anna. For example, I like reading fiction of all kinds, Petra likes non fiction and Anna just doesn't read. They don't really get on with each other too well. So why do I get along with these two people better than almost anyone else? Because I can talk to them. For hours. Because they both speak to a different part of my personality.

Who knows, though, why some people click and some don't? It's a mystery.